Things I Love

The Price of Independence

I've been wondering a lot lately what the next step of my life is going to be. For the past 5 years I have been living in an intentional community in the inner city of Chicago. I have enjoyed it so much and been blessed enough to have met my husband here. I know God is stirring something inside of both of us that will soon come to the surface. A move? but where? stay in the city? move to Canada? go travel the world for a few years?... I don't know. I'm planning on enrolling in a community college down the street this fall for their cosmetology program. I am confident that I will excel in that program, but a little scared about the placement test that the school requires you to take. Considering that I was homeschooled and had to be my own teacher at times. If I can just make it through that, I know that I will do well in my classes. The reason why I am doing this is to get my hairdressing license, and I can't do that without the schooling. Jpusa seems to be the best place to be to make it all happen. No rent, no car payments, and a very workable schedule.
The idea of moving does scare me a little. Neither me or my husband have ever had to live on our own. I moved to Chicago right out of my parents house and Trevor has lived in the community since his Mom moved there back in the 80's. We know that we are blessed by being able to have the time to do the things that we love and hang out with family and friends and not have to struggle worrying about whether or not we are going to be able to make ends meet. But there is that part of us that is longing to know that we can make it on our own.. that we can live life on our own terms and have that sense of pride.
Timing is such a hard thing to determine! Should we wait until I'm done school to move? Until Trevor and Christopher really know where their music is heading? When do we want to start a family? I don't want to be in retirement when my children are graduating.
Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself... I DO want to enjoy today. I want to make each day count and not look back 5 years from now and say, where did it go? So, i think it is good to plan and look at life with a sense of wonder... but not to fret about the future. I know God has a great plan for our life and that he will open up the right doors when the timing is right.

Amour Sincere

Married Life, aaahhh.. it's good. Here are some reasons why I think so...
Having someone who knows how to make me laugh when I'm grouchy.
Someone to wake up with every morning.
Someone to hug me when I'm sad.
Having someone that understands me the way no one else could.
Someone that I trust...REALLY.
Someone that makes me ride roller coasters.
Having someone that thinks I'm beautiful even when I feel fat and ugly.
I guess I'm pretty lucky, huh...

Home Grown

Am I a city girl? Sometimes I feel like one. There's nothing like seeing the Chicago skyline at night, or the architecture of buildings that have been standing for over a hundred years, having the best stores all at your fingertips, walking through the crowded streets lit up with Christmas lights during the holiday season, listening to the sounds of the city streets through your open window on those humid summer days, hearing the ringing bell of the man selling Mexican Popsicles approaching, trying all of the amazing food from so many different cultures all in the span of a few city blocks, even being awoken by the shouts of the man yelling at something only he can see late at night. All of these things make me appreciate the immense richness of this city and this neighbourhood. All the things I didn't experience in my safe, familiar small town childhood. But I have to say, sometimes all I want to do is take off my shoes, roll up my sleeves and dig in some dirt. Sometimes all I want is to run around with my dogs and take a ride in my dad's pickup truck, smelling the clean cool air on the dirt roads. All I want to do is pick peas from the vine in the garden and listen to my dad explain to me how to breed two types of apple trees together. All I want is to tickle my nieces and nephews and cook a good meal for my whole family while my dad gives me his wink of approval. I want to listen to my Mom tell me all of her dreams and plans for the future while being amazed at how she never looses hope that something amazing is right around the corner. I want to eat the best licorice ice cream in the world as fast as I can before it melts all the way down my arm. Sometimes all I want is to see somebody who knows what color my hair was when I was three years old. Sometimes, all I want is to be home. Am I a city girl? Nah...

My Reflection

"Yet if you devote your heart to him and stretch out your hands to him, if you put away the sin that is in your hand and allow no evil to dwell in your tent, then you will lift up your face without shame; you will stand firm and without fear. You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by. Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning.
You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety.
You will lie down, with no one to make you afraid, and many will court your favor..."
Job 11:13-19

Bocephus

God can we have him please?

New Beginnings

I Just recently stumbled upon one of my old journals. I don't think I got up from my seat until I had read through the entire thing. I hadn't realized how therapeutic is was to be able to look back at a time in your life and see change and growth and have that feeling of progress, of movement. Since I got married 2 years ago I have not touched my journal. This was not an intentional decision, life just has felt like it has been in fast forward since then. So now, I am making an effort to write down my thoughts. I started a new journal and I am starting this blog. Hopefully I can be diligent with it. Until next time....