Ramblings...

At 26, I am still figuring out my faith and what it means to me. Sometimes I am embarrassed to call myself a christian. I don't want to be associated with the majority of people who call themselves Christians in the world today. Yes, I believe in God, yes I believe in Jesus and that he died for my sins. I am not embarrassed of that. But I think Christians have become well known for their extreme judgementalism and close-minded ignorance. I don't want to be known for George Bush's spilling of thousands of innocent people's blood, Joel Osteen lining his pockets in the name of God, the mega churches with starbucks, Terry Jones threatening to burn the Koran on 9/11, the person holding that sign that says "God hates fags" or  "Abortion is homicide".

I do not believe that God put me here on this earth to be the decider of whether or not someone else is living their life the way they should be or not. God created all sin equal and maybe if I had NO sin in my own life, then I could have a say in someone else's life. Until then, I consider myself just as guilty as the person I may be judging and I'm going to keep pulling the forests of logs out of my own eyes. Don't get me wrong, I think if you really care about your friends and you see them harming themselves, you should take action to help them, but not through words of condemnation. Through ACTIONS of LOVE and by EXAMPLE!

 I just get so sad to think that we lose faith in other's so easily, that we are so quick to make a judgement about them for their mistakes. No matter what someone does, we do not know what goes through their head in the still of the night when it's just them and their thoughts. That, only God knows. I think we may be surprised when we get to heaven and see who is there with us. I know the bible says that the only way to heaven is through Christ, but I struggle to believe that someone in Bangladesh, Tibet, Syria, Fiji, etc. that devotes their entire life to the creator, and doing good, but didn't call him by the name Jesus wouldn't be accepted with open arms at the gates of heaven. I don't know much, but I really feel that the God I know would accept them.

I DO know that God is so much bigger than us and our labels and compartments. And that gives me so much hope. That's all for tonight...

Keeper Of The Birds

I remember being six or seven and lying on the floor of the sun room of our house on Ball Street letting the beams of sunlight warm my face. I would lay silently, waiting patiently for the moment! The moment when I would hear the thud against the large bay windows my Dad had put in a few years earlier. I remember running outside as fast as my bare feet would take me to find the small lifeless body of a bird laying there. Finding that it was beyond saving, I was ready to perform my duty and give it the burial that I felt, in my seven year old head, it deserved. I would dig deep in the loose soil of our garden with my hands and lay it's fragile little body in the grave, then cover it up leaving one wing protruding from the earth, almost as a salute. I would stand and stare at it for a while wondering what it's little bird life was like. Did it have a bird mommy or daddy or a bird husband that was waiting anxiously for it's return home? I would conclude the burial with the sprinkling of flower petals around the wing and then return to my spot in the sun and wait for the next unknowing victim.